Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Song of the Year

Of all the photos of me at the age of xxix, this is the first one that does not contain full frontal nudity.
I've done a lot of thinking. The soundtrack of my life should be compiled so that when I die, it can be played at my funeral. If I am to die of natural causes, the compilation can be played on shuffle; if I die an untimely death, it must be played straight through in a dark room with xiv candles burning. Also, I must be worshiped in a way that will anger God (I will convince God to forgive you all--don't worry).

To compile my life's soundtrack, I'm simply coming up with a "song of the year" for each year I have lived. In a hypothetical Adamian calendar beginning June 4, my birthday, and ending the following June 3, there are now xxix songs.

Now, the "song of the year" doesn't necessarily mean my favorite song from a given year. It simply is the song that defined my year the most at the time; some of the songs of the year are songs that I now hate (read below and guess which ones).

Let's go through the years leading up to this one, and then I'll present to you this year's nominees (please keep in mind that it wasn't until 1992 that my taste in music became worth a damn):

Adamian yearSongArtist
1980-1981"Amazing Grace"*John Newton
1981-1982"You Are My Sunshine"*Jimmie Davis
1982-1983"Total Eclipse of the Heart"Bonnie Tyler
1983-1984"Eat It""Weird Al" Yankovic
1984-1985"We're Not Gonna Take It"Twisted Sister
1985-1986"Amarillo by Morning"George Strait
1986-1987"My Toot Toot"Rockin' Sidney
1987-1988"You Give Love a Bad Name"Bon Jovi
1988-1989"Take Me Home, Country Roads"John Denver
1989-1990"18 & Life"Skid Row
1990-1991"Blaze of Glory"Jon Bon Jovi
1991-1992"Bohemian Rhapsody"Queen
1992-1993"Brighton Rock"Queen
1993-1994"Time Is on My Side"The Rolling Stones
1994-1995"Sway"The Rolling Stones
1995-1996"Here Comes the Sun"The Beatles
1996-1997"Don't Stop Me Now"Queen
1997-1998"Love, Reign O'er Me"The Who
1998-1999"Down by the Seaside"Led Zeppelin
1999-2000"Powderfinger"Neil Young
2000-2001"Ambulance Blues"Neil Young
2001-2002"Rocks Off"The Rolling Stones
2002-2003"Offend in Every Way"The White Stripes
2003-2004"Mean Old Line"Jimbo Mathus
2004-2005"Expecting To Fly"Buffalo Springfield
2005-2006"Desolation Row"Bob Dylan
2006-2007"All or Nothing"Small Faces
2007-2008"Icky Thump"The White Stripes

Yes, it's been a great life, and nowhere near as great a soundtrack. So far, disc one sucks, and disc two rules. If I live long enough for a box set, I'm sure things will improve unless I go on a 12-year Barbara Mandrell kick.'s mmix now, and it is time to determine the Song of the Year for the Adamian Year 2008-2009. Here are the nominees:

"Hello Hooray" by Alice Cooper"Butcher" by Leonard Cohen"Let Me Roll It" by Paul McCartney & Wings"Consoler of the Lonely" by The Raconteurs"Salute Your Solution" by The Raconteurs

And the winner is...

"Let Me Roll It" by Paul McCartney & Wings!


Sunny said...

That's a decent soundtrack. I count only 6 years where it appears you were contemplating if you were really straight or not.

Adam David Wilson said...

Lemme guess which six songs you mean: "Total Eclipse of the Heart," "My Toot Toot," "You Give Love a Bad Name," "Blaze of Glory," and that's all I got. Liking Queen isn't gay. You suck.

Sunny said...

Total Eclipse of the Heart, My Toot Toot, Eat It, Country Roads, one Neil Young song is ok, two back to back makes it questionable, and anything Paul McCartney did after the Beatles is suspect.

Adam David Wilson said...

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - I was 3.
"My Toot Toot" - agreed, but I was like 6.
"Eat It" - Eat it.
"Country Roads" - Ok, fine. But I was 9.
Neil Young - Neil is God. You like Kansas.
"Let Me Roll It" - Have you even heard this song?

For the most part, you're bashing me for the stuff I liked when I was a toddler. Who'd you like--Poison?

Sunny said...

I didn't say you were gay, I said you were questioning it.