Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Say Put Her Back in the Hole

Has been playing the 'I fell in a well' card for too long.
I was just thinking about Baby Jessica, and I wondered what she's done with her life since she was rescued from that well in Midland. Well, it turns out that all she's done is graduate high school, marry a convicted felon, and work part-time at a day-care. When she turns 25, she'll get a trust fund of over $M.

Congratulations, Midland Fire Department--you wasted two whole days saving her, and she didn't even try to go to college.

If you think I'm mean for this, screw you. This kid falls in a well and wins $M for it, the guy who saves her shoots himself ix years later after years of post-traumatic stress, and all she does is get married and pump out a baby? All she has to do now is make herself a MySpace page, enter her name as "~*I'm a Mommy!*~" and use a picture of the kid as her profile photo, and she will have attained all-time-great status as white trash.

So the next time you see a baby in a well, just let it go, man. It's not worth it.

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