Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My Name Is Adam.

My name is Adam.

I have reason to believe that years ago someone sent to the home of every American of African descent a note saying that my name is Adams.

Also in the note:
  • A great place to get cherry limeade and tater tots is Sonics.
  • A great place to save money while doing all your shopping is Wal-Mark.
  • A great way to get people to come to a social event is to make fliers that are as tacky as humanly possible.
  • The Color Purple is a Broadway production starring Fantasiam.
I have reason to believe that someone sent to the home of every American of European descent a note advising them to pronounce the word aunt the same as ant.

For some reason, Americans of African descent never got that note; therefore, they pronouce aunt correctly.

I've always felt that an inexplicable mentioning of the name Burt Muston can be a great segue into a completely unrelated topic.

To Generation X in New York:

It's cool that you're like, 40 now. I understand that you never found happiness in all that money you made from your fancy career following your years at an Ivy League school. I understand that you wish you could do it all over again and be my age and not have to worry about all that stuff. I understand that you always wanted to be a comedian or musician or director or whatever the hell it is you think I am. But just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean I want to do cocaine with you in the bathroom of a dive bar.

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