Sunday, August 19, 2007

De Soto Would Be Ashamed (a dialogue)

(picks up phone) Hello?
Hey, Adam. I just got to the Port Authority Bus Terminal from Boston. Come get me.
Well, look. I'm in Brooklyn right now. Beast, Aquarius, and I are meeting at 27th and 5th in the Flatiron District in about thirty minutes. Just meet us there.
How do you get there?
Well, we're going to 27th and 5th, and you're at 41st and 8th, so...14 blocks south, and three blocks east.
I don't understand.
Dammit, you used to live here. Look, I gotta go. My train's here.
(sarcastic) Gee, thanks for being helpful, dick.
Don't thank me. Thank Gouverneur Morris, John Rutherford, and Simeon De Witt for being helpful in 1811 when they devised a revolutionary grid plan for the City in which the streets were numbered, you stupid whore. (hangs up)
Adam Wilson is amazing.