Wednesday, July 25, 2007

SEC Happy Hour

Happy hour, y'all!
They do this thing a couple times a year in New York where all SEC alumni are invited to enjoy drink specials and hang out with Southern people (like we never run into Southerners up here--there are probably more natives of the South in New York than there are in the South).

So what is an SEC happy hour like? Imagine Fred's/Reggie's, but five years older, 15 pounds heavier, and with a 1/4" hairline difference. I'm glad I moved 1,368 miles away so I could hang out at a frat class reunion.

I went into the place (a Texas Longhorns bar, by the way), saw an empty table with a big plate of nachos, and sat down. I knew these probably belonged to someone who was probably visiting the restroom (there were about 19 empty Miller Lite bottles at the table), so I scarfed the nachos down in about a minute and a half and left.

(Notable no-shows at the happy hour: Renaldo Balkman, David Barret, Decori Birmingham, Kevin Dockery, Shaun Ellis, Na'Shan Goddard, Marquise Gunn, Cedric Houston, David Lee, Jared Lorenzen, Jamaal Magloire, Eli Manning, Anthony Mix, Ralph Morris, Zach Piller, DeWayne Robertson, Reggie Torbor, Danny Ware, Corey Webster, Andrew Wicker, and Gibril Wilson)

When I got home, I was thirsty. I was wearing a wife-beater, my polka-dotted boxers (hands-me-down from Pappaw), Raising Cane's cap (ridin' high on the head a la Les Miles), crew socks pulled up to mid-calf, and flip flops. I walked across busy 10th Avenue traffic to get my Sunkist. For four seconds, 48th & 10th was the most redneck intersection in the world--nay, the universe.

I am proud of what I did today.

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