![]() | ![]() |
Me | The guy in my nightmare |
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Can I Sleep in Your Bed?
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
5:55 PM
1 comments
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Song of the Year
|
To compile my life's soundtrack, I'm simply coming up with a "song of the year" for each year I have lived. In a hypothetical Adamian calendar beginning June 4, my birthday, and ending the following June 3, there are now xxix songs.
Now, the "song of the year" doesn't necessarily mean my favorite song from a given year. It simply is the song that defined my year the most at the time; some of the songs of the year are songs that I now hate (read below and guess which ones).
Let's go through the years leading up to this one, and then I'll present to you this year's nominees (please keep in mind that it wasn't until 1992 that my taste in music became worth a damn):
| Adamian year | Song | Artist |
| 1980-1981 | "Amazing Grace"* | John Newton |
| 1981-1982 | "You Are My Sunshine"* | Jimmie Davis |
| 1982-1983 | "Total Eclipse of the Heart" | Bonnie Tyler |
| 1983-1984 | "Eat It" | "Weird Al" Yankovic |
| 1984-1985 | "We're Not Gonna Take It" | Twisted Sister |
| 1985-1986 | "Amarillo by Morning" | George Strait |
| 1986-1987 | "My Toot Toot" | Rockin' Sidney |
| 1987-1988 | "You Give Love a Bad Name" | Bon Jovi |
| 1988-1989 | "Take Me Home, Country Roads" | John Denver |
| 1989-1990 | "18 & Life" | Skid Row |
| 1990-1991 | "Blaze of Glory" | Jon Bon Jovi |
| 1991-1992 | "Bohemian Rhapsody" | Queen |
| 1992-1993 | "Brighton Rock" | Queen |
| 1993-1994 | "Time Is on My Side" | The Rolling Stones |
| 1994-1995 | "Sway" | The Rolling Stones |
| 1995-1996 | "Here Comes the Sun" | The Beatles |
| 1996-1997 | "Don't Stop Me Now" | Queen |
| 1997-1998 | "Love, Reign O'er Me" | The Who |
| 1998-1999 | "Down by the Seaside" | Led Zeppelin |
| 1999-2000 | "Powderfinger" | Neil Young |
| 2000-2001 | "Ambulance Blues" | Neil Young |
| 2001-2002 | "Rocks Off" | The Rolling Stones |
| 2002-2003 | "Offend in Every Way" | The White Stripes |
| 2003-2004 | "Mean Old Line" | Jimbo Mathus |
| 2004-2005 | "Expecting To Fly" | Buffalo Springfield |
| 2005-2006 | "Desolation Row" | Bob Dylan |
| 2006-2007 | "All or Nothing" | Small Faces |
| 2007-2008 | "Icky Thump" | The White Stripes |
Yes, it's been a great life, and nowhere near as great a soundtrack. So far, disc one sucks, and disc two rules. If I live long enough for a box set, I'm sure things will improve unless I go on a 12-year Barbara Mandrell kick.
So...it's mmix now, and it is time to determine the Song of the Year for the Adamian Year 2008-2009. Here are the nominees:
![]() | ![]() |
| ![]() | ![]() |
| "Hello Hooray" by Alice Cooper | "Butcher" by Leonard Cohen | "Let Me Roll It" by Paul McCartney & Wings | "Consoler of the Lonely" by The Raconteurs | "Salute Your Solution" by The Raconteurs |
And the winner is...
"Let Me Roll It" by Paul McCartney & Wings!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Paul McCartney & Friends: Change Begins Within (a Benefit Concert for the David Lynch Foundation)
- See the Cubs and Yankees break in the new Yankee Stadium.
- See the Raptors play the Knicks at Madison Square Garden.
- See the David Lynch Foundation benefit concert at Radio City Music Hall, featuring Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Donovan, Sheryl Crow, Eddie Vedder, Moby, Ben Harper, Paul Horn, Jim James, Bettye LaVette, and Angelo Badalementi.
Here's the play-by-play review of what is arguably one of the four or five best shows I've seen this April*:
- Angelo Badalementi - "Falling (Twin Peaks Theme)" Badalementi plays the music in most of Lynch's films, so it was nice to see him open with this piece.
- Moby with Bettye LaVette and The T.M. Choir - "Natural Blues" I'm not sure how exactly Moby got a record deal. His live performance leaves quite a bit to be desired. LaVette's vocals on this song were good.
- Moby with The T.M. Choir - "Stars" An unnecessary performance of an unnecessary song written by an unnessary musician. yawn.
- Bettye LaVette with Moby - "Close as I'll Get to Heaven" Great performance by LaVette, and good job by Moby not getting in the way too much.
- Sheryl Crow - "Riverwide" Haven't heard this song in about ten years when I bought The Globe Sessions, and I forgot how much I liked it. Crow's voice live is strikingly good.
- Sheryl Crow with Ben Harper - "My Sweet Lord" Great selection. Crow introduced the song with the first of what would become many comments that George "may not be here with us physically, but he's here in spirit." Great work on the lapsteel by Harper.
- Jerry Seinfeld. A surprise guest! Did a solid eight minutes. Mostly new stuff, filled in by the bit about a cab driver having the chemical symbol for boron in his last name (I hate that joke--the chemical symbol for boron is B, not Ø!).
- Eddie Vedder - "Far Behind" Poignant song with Vedder alone on an acoustic. Vedder's set absolutely blew me away. I had no idea he was this good musically.
- Eddie Vedder - "Rise" Vedder on a mandolin. Beautiful song.
- Eddie Vedder - "Arc" Vedder loops his own vocals in this a capella piece not unlike Freddie Mercury in the middle of "The Prophet's Song." I had no idea Vedder could perform such dextrous vocal acrobatics.
- Ben Harper & Relentless7 with Eddie Vedder - "Indifference" Harper is as good as advertised. That is to say that he delivers great performances of music that I don't like.
- Ben Harper & Relentless7 - "Fly One Time" See above.
- Ben Harper & Relentless7 with Eddie Vedder - "Under Pressure" This one got a very wealthy crowd on its feet. I seriously hope this one's included on the DVD. It was amazing. Harper took Mercury's part, and Vedder, Bowie's.
intermission - Mike Love is reduced to tears in his own speech about the possibility of transcendental meditation leading to world peace. I was distracted by the fact that this sonofabitch will wear--with a designer tuxedo--a baseball cap that says "The Beach Boys" on it as if we don't know he's bald.
- Donovan with Jim James - "Hurdy Gurdy Man" Great to see Donovan! Love this song!
- Donovan with Jim James - "Wear Your Love Like Heaven" Another piece of healthy ear candy from Donovan, and I still have it in my head.
- Donovan with Sheryl Crow and Moby - "Season of the Witch" An average-at-best song made awful by Donovan's attempt at dancing with Sheryl Crow.
- Donovan with Paul Horn - "Isle of Islay" Great duet with jazz flautist Horn.
- Paul Horn - "Meditation" Beautiful flute piece that mixes both eastern music with the blue notes of American jazz.
- Howard Stern. Another surprise guest! Stern delivered a jab or two at himself before saying "Mike Love greeted me backstage by saying, 'Howard, you are living proof that you don't have to be a pussy to be into transcendental meditation.'" He followed with a sincere anecdote about how meeting Maharishi Mahesh Yogi saved his mother's life. It will go down as one of the great discomforts of my life: to see Howard Stern not be a dick.
- Ringo Starr with Ben Harper & Relentless7 and Eddie Vedder - "It Don't Come Easy" At 9:52 Eastern Daylight Time in New York, I first laid eyes on a Beatle, the first Beatle ever born. And he was out of tune and nervous, as usual. A real treat.
- Ringo Starr with Ben Harper & Relentless7 and Eddie Vedder - "Boys" Not sure why he felt the need to play the worst and gayest of all Beatle covers.
- Ringo Starr with Ben Harper & Relentless7, Sheryl Crow, and Eddie Vedder - "Yellow Submarine" Would have preferred "Octopus' Garden," but this'll do. Gear!
Paul McCartney I had no idea how truly good this guy is live, and at the age of lxvi. - "Drive My Car" My favorite of Paul's Beatle tunes.
- "Jet" Great song played live.
- "Got To Get You Into My Life" My least favorite Beatle plays my least favorite Beatles song. Damn you, James Paul McCartney.
- "Let It Be" Decent.
- "Lady Madonna" M'eh.
- "Blackbird" Paul plays this one alone on an acoustic. It was nice.
- "Here Today" This is a song Paul wrote to John shortly after John's death. Not many dry eyes in the house.
- "Band on the Run" My favorite Paul solo song.
- "Can't Buy Me Love" Overrated. I hate this song.
- Paul McCartney with Ringo Starr - "With a Little Help From My Friends" How many times have more than one Beatle played together onstage since the rooftop? Wow!
encore - Paul McCartney with Ringo Starr and all performers - "Cosmically Conscious" A song that Paul wrote in 1968 in Hrishikesh, the most enlightening and spiritual time for the Beatles, yet you'd be surprised at how shitty and typical of Paul it is.
- David Lynch with Donovan and Ringo Starr - "A Poem of Unknown Origin" Ok.
- Paul McCartney with Ringo Starr and all performers - "I Saw Her Standing There" There are two people who have ever lived who can harmonize this song correctly. One is John Lennon; the other is me.
* This is a joke. It's the best show I've ever seen.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I Almost Botched My Salvation Like a Papa Shango Sneak Attack
View Larger Map |
It was a Wednesday night when I was baptised by Eugene Brown at Rocky Branch Assembly of God, located on the outskirts of Farmerville, Louisiana. To give you an idea of how small a town Rocky Branch is, it's located on the outskirts of a town called Farmerville.
It was minutes before the service was to begin, and somebody noted that I hadn't thought to bring a change of clothes. I said, "No problem--I think I'll just do it in my underwear." Horrified by the thought of so much of my surface area in plain sight (and perhaps more horrified that I would have such a stupid idea), panic ensued, and a search party was organized to find me some baptisewear. At the last minute, I was given some clothes much too big for me, and it was my turn.
After Brother Brown asked me the standard questions about my plans to serve Jesus, he asked me if I had any words for the congregation. I said, "The water here is freezing, and I can't think of a better night to get baptised than tonight...the fourth anniversary of Wrestlemania VIII."
Monday, March 23, 2009
How To Tell If You Are an Idiot With Your Bracket Picks
- Fill out a make-believe bracket with the high seed winning each game.
- Fill out your own picks in another, non-make-believe bracket. This is the one on which you're betting money.
- Watch the games.
- Tally the scores of both brackets.
- If your real bracket scores lower than your make-believe bracket, you're an idiot.
Make-believe bracket: 36 correct (50 points in the weighted round system).
Non-make-believe bracket: 37 correct (51 points in the weighted round system).
Way to be dumber than me, idiots (except for Bonnie McNemar Budyach, Gustavo "Goose" Douaihi, and Jeremy White, all of whom scored higher than me).
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
3:40 PM
0
comments
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Midnight Snack
2. Some extra sharp Cheddar.
3. Some Swiss.
4. 6 jalapeño slices.
5. 1 teaspoon Louisiana hot sauce.
6. 1 teaspoon Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce.
7. A dash of Bac-O's.
8. A dash of Tony Chachere's Original Cajun Seasoning.
9. 1 roll industrial toilet paper for the near-instant diarrhea you'll have.
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
2:36 AM
1 comments
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lunch Today
One slice of Swiss cheese.
One slice of extra sharp cheddar cheese.
8 drops of Louisiana hot sauce.
14 shakes of Tony Chachere's Original Cajun Seasoning.
4 jalapeño slices.
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
12:48 PM
1 comments
Monday, March 2, 2009
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
8:24 PM
1 comments
Monday, February 23, 2009
Quick Note to Sean Penn
Obama opposes gay marriage.
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
12:23 PM
0
comments
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I Am the Worst Neighbor Who Ever Lived.
Yesterday, I had a bowel movement. It was enormous--possibly the biggest in my life. I flushed not once, not twice, but thrice during it, and I had to flush two times after I was done just to make sure it was gone.
This morning as I left my house to go to the store for sunflower seeds (I'm addicted like you wouldn't believe), I saw my downstairs neighbor and landlady sweeping out of her home what appeared to be human waste. I don't know how I could tell that it was mine, but I just knew, kind of like how a penguin can remember which is his mate after months of absence even when penguins are virtually identical.
"What do you eat?" asked my landlady. I didn't answer her question directly, but I apologized and told her that I found this ironic since I practice vegetarianism--imagine if I were a carnivore!
The official story is that I shat an anvil that was so big that it burst the pipes downstairs. I haven't felt this proud since I beat Tyson in two rounds.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
L Racisto o L Homosexualo?
I'm standing over a twentysomething black guy on the L in Brooklyn, and I want to indicate to him that his fly is unzipped, but I'm seriously afraid that this has become, unbeknownst to me and other colorlesses, a new urban fad and that my indication of such trousal openness will be viewed as archaic and racist. So now I have to stare at every black male crotch I see. You know, for research.
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
5:52 PM
0
comments
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Oh, and Regarding the Hair
If someone could find me a nice white woman to cut my hair for once, that would be great. The reason is that men, regardless of race, smell bad when they cut hair. As for women of color...I'm no racist (stop laughing); to put it bluntly, y'all cut y'all hair good, but that's all. I'll let a daughter bring one home, no problem, but my hair is where I draw the line.
___
xiv
Posted by
Adam David Wilson
at
12:29 PM
0
comments









